Why do you want to change?

September 11, 2015

Hello Friends! It’s been a while. I’ve been working on a bun in the oven, not the delicious kind, the kind you have to potty train and raise into a decent human being. 😉 The topic for today is why do you want to become more healthy?

The answer might seem obvious—so obvious in fact that we don’t often think to ask the question, or to consider our answer. After all, if you’re overweight, have health problems, feel tired, and lack energy, the obvious answer is that you want to change in order to solve those problems. That’s true of most changes we try to adopt—they’re based on solving a problem or trying to get rid of an unwanted situation.

This type of motivation almost never leads to lasting change. Typically, you make some changes at first, but later you fall back into your old ways of behaving. Why? Because whenever you experience emotional conflict—that is, feelings of negativity—you want it to stop. Who wants to feel uncomfortable? You think about your health problems, or about how much you hate the way you look, and your natural response is to feel terrible. In order to end that discomfort, you take actions that make you feel better about yourself—maybe you go on a diet, or vow to change your couch potato ways and start exercising. But those actions aren’t motivated by what you want—an outcome you desire—and so they lead you into a predictable cycle:

1. Emotional conflict leads you to act.
2. Because you’ve acted, you feel better—even if the situation hasn’t changed much.
3. Feeling better takes the pressure off, lessening the emotional conflict.
4. Less emotional conflict means there’s less reason to continue doing the things that reduced the conflict in the first place.
5. Since you feel better, you no longer feel a pressing need to follow through on your actions.
6. And the original behavior returns

It’s a typical yo-yo pattern! And the most natural thing in the world is to fall back into your previous habits: eating, smoking, whatever it is you’re trying to change. In fact, it’s more than natural—it’s inevitable. Here’s a tip that’s worth committing to memory: “Conflict-driven motivation is one of the major reasons people yo-yo.”

motivation - yoyo

So if you are looking for real lasting change you need to change your motivation. We are creators by nature, what do you want to create in your life? What would your perfect health look like? Write it down, see it, feel it, let it draw you forward. When we are creating something we are not relying on those negative emotions to propel us forward. As those feelings of discomfort lessen we just celebrate because we know that is getting us closer to what we want to create.

I want to create a healthy, energetic, confident mom. The decisions I make daily will either help me get there or will set me back. I use that as a measuring stick. So when faced with eating half a pizza on my own instead of feeling like “Hey, I’m doing pretty good, what’s one pizza binge going to do? I’ll just be extra good TOMORROW….” I think “will eating all this pizza help me be a healthier, more energetic and confident mom?” No, it will make me feel sick to my stomach, bloated, guilty and ashamed for over doing it. When you really think things through most of the time it’s a no-brainer. 

So take some time to think, to decide what it is you want to create and go for it!!!! If you want to put it out there you can share in the comments. 🙂 

Coach Matia 🙂

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  1. What!? Did I just read that right?!! Did you say that you are prego? Ha! I would have texted you but I don’t have your number! Seriously dying here!! So exciting!

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